Chapter One: Awakening

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You, the person, the husk of a female, have always wondered what happened to your father, the loss of him. You fantasize and imagine his protection and find instead an expanding hole in your heart.

At night you study the ceiling, the familiar uneven plaster. The stain around the light fitting from that time Mrs. Evelyn let her bath overflow. You see every line and crack in the surface and despise it all. And when your eyes close and you fall into nothingness, the only hope left, is to never wake up. But in slumber, they wait, demon-like beasts, spiked teeth, black coal eyes, fat little bellies and pudgy limbs. They circle you and hiss. In the morning, you jolt awake, sweating yet ice cold, sucking in a desperate breath of life. Not wanting to die if that’s what waits on the other side, but still, you don’t want to live either.
You stagger into the bathroom and wipe hot tears from your face. You think of the gentle fun everyone made of your love of the darkness as a child. Fearless, you’d march into your bedroom and later survey its contents from a warm bed. You were satisfied. Those shapes of childhood things, holding no hidden terrors. Your imagination and passion for fairy-tales. Your childish wisdom. You were a born-fool and now the darkness terrifies you.